Growing Older by the Minute…


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Damn, how I hate growing old. I am definitely not the very first person to make such a statement as at one time or another, every living human being has probably uttered those words in countless different languages.

Why is growing old such a problem? First of all, I am nowhere near as strong as I used to be. The rocks that I placed around the ponds have grown in weight since I put them there  a few years back and now I really struggle to move them around when I need to. As if that was not enough, the weight of the world has made me round shouldered and now I am shorter by more than an inch. On the other hand, I have had no problem at all in adding to my weight to the extent that I had to go on a diet to drop from 183 pounds to 155. Even now, it is a struggle to maintain it at this level. Then there are the aches and pains. Why do my joints ache and why do the few remaining muscles I have that are still working protest loudly when I try to use them.

There is nothing wrong with my eyesight as I still love to look at pretty girls especially if they are well endowed. Nowadays, I appreciate their beauty and the grace in which they move but unfortunately for me,  the long lasting desires of the flesh are no longer present. In my case beauty is in the eye of the beholder ….me. Of course, I have to be careful not to be caught staring otherwise I am labelled as a dirty old man. Wait a minute, I am a dirty old man.  So sad that this is all that remains…

I watch the professional soccer players on the television and marvel at the way they move and I remember when I played the game, not at their level but enough to make me pretty good. Nowadays, I doubt if I could run away from turtle if one turned rogue and decided to chase me.

One good thing about growing old is all of the accumulated experiences of the previous years along with all of the knowledge gained through a lifetime results in a treasure chest of information on just about every subject under the sun. The trouble is that trying to recall any of that information is iffy at the best as it’s probably long gone, buried deep in the annals of my mind, never to see the light of day when it is needed the most.

So here we have it. Creaky bones and a mind that has difficulty in recalling times of any real importance. I can still tell you the name of the kids I grew up with but I can’t remember what I had for breakfast. I can no longer run and jump and my fastest walking pace is probably less than 1 mile per hour. On the other hand, I can walk forever as long as it is at my slow pace.

So, what good am I you might ask. Good question and one that requires some thought to answer. I can still maintain the ponds and do any work on them that is required including moving the above mentioned rocks as heavy as they are. I can still walk for miles even in the hot sun as I am already wrinkled and shrivelled up even when coated in sun block so the sun is not going to spoil any semblance of looks that I still have. LIke I said before, I don’t need good looks as I am not interested in charming the ladies. I take pretty good pictures  and a lot of them and know how to present them. My mind works just fine in front of a computer and I have no trouble in writing stories about those long walks I take. My two remaining dogs love me…. I think, unless they view me just as a meal ticket and the cat is so old, I am not sure she even knows who I am anymore. My house is paid for and I own a little piece of Texas and I am comfortably enough off to be able to buy groceries and any small stuff when I need it.

So, what the hell is wrong with me worrying about growing old. Everyone and everything grows old as time marches on. There is no stopping its forward march. It has been this way since the beginning and if and when it changes, it will be the end of the World.

Luckily, I will not be around to see it.

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My Slow Brain…


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As my brain slowly goes bad
it makes me feel so very sad
that things I can no longer recall
even though they are very small
things like names and dates and times
involving dollars and nickels and dimes
are gone and even though I try
my very thoughts seem to deny
that the subject in hand I ever knew
as recalling my thoughts are very few.

I try to compensate for my brain
by writing things down to keep me sane
so I can use it to recall
whenever my brain is feeling small
or retracing my steps from whence I came
in order to jog my stupid brain
for when I get to where I am going
my brain has forgotten the reason for showing
appointments like doctors and dentists and such
are carefully logged as my fingers touch
the keys to my laptop being sure to record
the whose, why’s and when’s in the proper accord.

Actually things are not really that bad
its true I get a little sad
when my brain is slow and seems in decline
but give it some time and the gears start to wind
and slowly but surely the thoughts reappear
which makes me feel full of good cheer
as the brain is not dead but just being slow
the thoughts and words take longer to show
there is still life in this old brain
true its never quite the same
as when I was a younger fellow
now I am much more mellow
and everything I do takes time
walking, talking and thinking these lines.

To My Sister.


Peg at 20

Peg at 20

My sister called the other day
just wanting to chat and pass away
the time, as Christmas is drawing near
and this is when every year
we write or call to say “Hello”
and make inquiries of each others health
and catch up on our lives so small
because apart we can tell it all.

I have not seen her for many a year
and in my thoughts she is so dear
to meet seems like an impossible task
for the distance is long and our time is short
and to travel so far will come to naught
as she in Florida now resides
with me in Texas, the distance divides.

My sister is ten years older than me
our Mum lived until she was ninety three
we are both hoping in our own way
that we too shall live to a ripe old age
I shall be eighty in just a few days
and my sister ninety at the start of May
as Mother lived as long as she
if we have her genes, maybe will we?

Heck, if we are truly blessed
and we have our Mothers genes for old age
and both of us as we do now
living our lives as best we know how
knowing that neither has a choice
in this matter we have no voice
when the Angels come looking for us
our souls to take as we turn to dust.

Alas, we cannot pick and choose
instead we live by making the best
of whatever time that we have left
her with her family warm and close
and me with my pets who I choose the most
each very happy in our own different way
living our lives from day to day.

When for us the time is up
whether it be my sister or me
we both know we have lived long lives
doing our best this world to survive
sharing ourselves that others may see
though far apart for many a year
we both hold each other so very dear.

Francis at 20

Francis at 20

My thoughts are with you Sister. Happy Holidays.

Boy, He sure looks old…


Growing Old

Growing Old

It seems to me as I grow older, that others all around are not changing. Of course that is not true as they are aging too but because we see them frequently, we do not notice their changes. Then, I will run into someone I haven’t seen in a while and I look at them and say to myself, “Boy, he sure looks old”. They, in turn, the minute I am out of earshot are saying the same thing. That’s after having both greeted each other with a,”You are looking good, how are you feeling?” or words to that effect. In turn, we always respond with “I’m feeling great, just great”, all the time trying to forget the various aches and pains  and creaky bones and joints that old age brings on us. And lets not forget that all the while you are talking to them, you are scratching your head and racking your brains to remember their name.The way I see it, you  can give the standard response when asked how you are or bore them to death with a litany of the most recent health issues. The problem with the latter approach is that you are opening up the door for them to load on you. Besides, most people will not hear you out as they impatiently want to share their various issues. Funny how that is.

Then I hear of a long time friend who is either sick from an incurable disease or has already succumbed to one. The people who die are all about the same age as ourselves which really gets me thinking, and if one poor unfortunate is younger by a few years, then the immediate thoughts are, “Well, I outlived him (or her)” almost with a feeling of triumph. It is to be expected that none of us age alone. It is not something that any of us has a monopoly on nor would we want to.

But even so, it still comes as a shock when we hear of a friend who is mortally ill and has only days to live. As we grow older, the people around us are doing the same which, of course is only logical as aging is not the personal property of any one of us. We cannot claim ownership or believe that we are the only ones with the divine right to grow old. What is worse, we have no choice in the matter. We cannot say, “Not today, I am not growing a day older today, maybe tomorrow”.

No, my friends, it is happening to us all and even though some of us may show it more (or less) than others, we are all aging at exactly the same speed. So, the next time that you bump into someone who you haven’t seen in a while, remember, you are both probably thinking the exact same thing, “Boy, he sure looks old”.

 

What is wrong with us, why do we grow so bloody old?


Sunset in Texas

Sunset in Texas

I look at all the old people and say how the hell did we get this way
all wrinkled and bent and shuffling along barely able to walk a straight line
with cane’s and walkers and all kinds of aids just to help us get through the day
with memories short or hardly at all trying to think of what was just said
as conversing about any subject so small is hard when you can’t think of the words you need
they are somewhere on the tip of your tongue but just out of reach again, every one
and as for names, forget they exist as they have this habit of slipping away
the minute you meet someone new and they tell you their name
you hope you will keep it at least for a while
but usually no more than a word or two and you are left without a clue
“Who was that”, someone asks and your mind draws a blank
and you have to admit that again and once more
your memory has failed to log in the name so that you could repeat it again.

One thing for sure there is no doubt we are the best outfitted of them all
with hearing aids and implanted teeth and replaced knees when they grew weak
and don’t forget a hip or two or maybe a pacemaker to make the heart beat
and if that doesn’t work replace the heart with one donated by someone else
who was not so lucky and was not saved by the miracles of modern medicine’s techniques
for all we do is buy more time and all of the money we may spend
for all the new parts, our body to mend
but in the end there is no escape and death will come our souls to take.

A word of advice to you young people out there who physically think you haven’t a care
just look around you and you will see that youth will not last for eternity
and in the space of a few short years you will look like us with just the same fears
make the most of the time you spend on this earth for it is so short with not much mirth
Enjoy it, kick ass and never lose track for “It’s hell growing old” is my final comeback.

You are born and then you die…

Rest in Peace whoever you may be...

Rest in Peace whoever you may be…

Friends-How Many Do You Still Have…


Red Rose Bud

Red Rose Bud

People come, people go
when you think about those we know
how many can we call our friends
that will always be there at the end

Truth to say on any day
a lot of people have passed our way
and yet, how many of them are friends
those we expect to see again.

We are such a mobile group
never staying long in one place
and there are folks we leave behind
who at the time are of the special kind

But time passes which its wont to do
and those special people of our past
a fading memory of times gone by
replaced by others to share the task

Schoolboy chums, mates of our teens
and even friends on our soccer teams
those who played, those who watched
and those who celebrated at the wins.

Where are all of those old friends gone
how many are still alive
did life treat them right or wrong
and these are things we will never find

I guess the story of life it told
around people who we choose to select
a few special folks their time to unfold
that friendly feeling as we connect

I have a few really good friends
with whom I like to spend my time
of the many other people I know
just acquaintances who come and go

As we grow older, the thoughts grow clear
of the friends we have known over the years
each to their time as it passed by
followed by more before we die

One thing is certain we can be sure
we have had lots of them over the years
we may shed tears as they pass out of our lives
yet we still have friends to meet, never fear.

Death will have the final word
as it marches onward to the day
and in its wake it sweeps aside
all friendships formed along the way.

I have lost a few friends these last few years
sickness or age an accessory
I am sad when I hear about each one
but secretly glad it was them and not me.

To those of my friends who I have known
if death has taken you as one of its own
I rejoice that I was privileged to say
You were my friend back in the day.

Reflections on Growing Old(er)


Lake Placid. New York State. Reflections on Life

Lake Placid. New York State. Reflections on Life

I used to think that growing old
was one of the worst things that can happen
as we stroll through this life.

In truth, now it has arrived
it is not so bad

It has some benefits not available when we were young
things like time to pick and choose when to do things
knowing that there is always another day

In old age, we never think that we will run out of time
even though one day, the clock will stop
and we shall never know that it has.

The body may not be as spry as it once was
or the mind quite as sharp
or the memory as good
but none of this matters
because we can only live the moment
and all we have is the body, mind and memory
of that time.

Women are just as beautiful as they ever were
back in the day
The difference is that now they are strictly for looking
and never for touching and in truth
the old body is way past its prime
and the mind no longer has the urge.

The almighty dollar is worth less than it was in our youth
but again, we now have more of them in our old age
and they go further because we have no need to spend
on frivolous things.

We are comforted by our pets
who grow old as we do
and we hope that they will not outlive us.

Friends of our youth are long gone from our lives
all we have are those friendships generated since
with people as old as we
who slowly pass, one by one
and we remember them well.

It’s not so bad being old
as long as we are not just a memory.