I spend a great deal of my life
getting told what to do by my wife
she is not alone in this as others too
join in with lists and pages out of a book
saying this is where you need to look
in order for your work today
or you will not get any pay
and with those sort of arguments
it’s hard not to let them have their say.
It has not always been this way
when I was young I had plenty to say
and I would tell others what to do
when it seemed to me they hadn’t a clue
and whether they asked my advice or not
I showed them I cared not one jot
and would tell them in no uncertain terms
my opinion of what they were trying to learn.
My first mistake was agreeing to
the Priest asking for my “I do”
so meekly I followed along with the words
and before I knew it I had a wife
who has caused me much anxiety and strife
with her constant “honey-dew”.
I try to be good to keep the peace
hand over my paycheck every week
and take back the small pittance in return
so that I can once a week meet
with my friends the ones from before
to have a drink and tell them the score
and nearly every time the score comes out
me zero and the wife a full house.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife
even though she causes me strife
for at times tender she can be
and makes me forget my misery
of “honey-dew”, the bane of my life
they go along with having a wife.
My Batchelor buddies all joke along
because they are so used to my song
“We told you so”, they all say
“but you went ahead anyway
you have traded off your Batchelor life
all because you wanted a wife”.
I think back how I got this way
Me, who always had plenty to say
I think I was conned into this strife
by a girl who wanted to be my wife
with her big round eyes and seductive looks
and a figure that I had only seen in books
and a graceful walk and legs so divine
I knew I had to make her mine.
Readers, I kid you not when I say
that being married is bliss in every way
except when those dreaded words that I fear
“Oh Honey, I have another job over here”.
and I figured out its a small price to pay
to have a wife that wants me to say
“OK, right on it, later today”.